Belong Week: Jessica’s Story
Hello again KCB Blog readers..
If you’ve called KCB recently or walked through the doors of our Community Center this week.. chances are you’ve already connected with the person we’re highlighting this week. She’s often the warm voice on the other end of the phone and the first smiling face you see when you step inside.. She’s usually at the ready with a resource, a listening ear, or the attention that’s a reminder that you’re not invisible. That we know. But what many people don’t know at first glance is that she is a former homeless woman herself who once battled severe addiction, survived whole body sepsis, open heart surgery.. and spent years feeling like she belonged just about.. well.. nowhere. Today, she’s a cornerstone of this place, and in my opinion, living proof that God’s redemption can rewrite even the hardest and darkest stories.
All that being said, it’s “Belong” week, and we’d like you to meet Jessica.. our lead volunteer here at the Community Center! She’s one of the most consistent people I’ve ever worked with, and someone who’s become family to us and so many others in her community.
I’ve had the honor of having a front row seat to the blessing that Jessica is to our Community Center.. and the journey she’s shared reminds me every day why we keep showing up. It echoes those moments in Scripture where Jesus seeks out the overlooked.. stories like the woman at the well, who was isolated and ashamed yet found acceptance there with Jesus.. or the tax collector in the tree, who was also led to true repentance and belonging.. or even the prodigal son coming home dusty and ashamed, only to be met with gratitude and open arms. That same relentless grace we read through those pages has so evidently been at work in Jessica’s life.. and drew her from the cold streets to a place of purpose. A place of real belonging.
This is her story…
Jessica grew up as the middle child in a working-class family.. Mom was the disciplinarian, while dad, a Vietnam vet, was just trying to manage his PTSD and keep himself together. Both of her parents worked a lot, so it was her brother who mostly took care of her and her sister. Jessica grew up shy. She was a self proclaimed “book nerd,” and kept her grades up through elementary and middle school. But even though things seemed normal on the surface, things at home weren’t going so great, and when Jessica was in 8th grade, their family had to move to Glendora.
The move completely shattered Jessica’s world. The culture in the new school was unlike anything she’d grown accustomed to, and soon, especially with no friends, the pressure to fit in started caving in around her. Jessica began having a hard time keeping up with her grades, and soon, that pressure led her to start ditching and drinking alcohol with the older crowd. Her classes started taking a backseat, and then weed was introduced. That path began to overtake her, and before she knew it, she was 16, pregnant, and dropping out of continuation school to raise him alone. Another pregnancy came at 19, and it seemed like the life she dreamt of was beginning to seem out of reach.
But even still.. she fought for more. She returned to school.. Tested into college classes in her early 20s.. and tried to get back on track. And for awhile, she was. She made the Dean’s list, and dreamed of a career in law enforcement. For the first time in awhile, life felt promising. But unfortunately, that came to a screeching halt when her partner got injured at work, and decided that he needed to supplement his income by selling drugs.
At first, Jessica tried to ignore it. She was going to school for law enforcement remember? But eventually, the pull from her partner became too strong, and he introduced her to meth for the first time. Jessica became a secret user. She tried to keep it together, but soon, life got chaotic. They were raided, they were arrested.. it was too much to handle. After that, she had another pregnancy and dropped out of school again. At that point, she stopped doing drugs during her pregnancy, but after the baby came and the relationship with that guy ended, she moved back with her mom. Jessica was determined to make things right again.. even if life wasn’t looking exactly how she’d planned.
She got a job at Vons and was starting to do well again, but unfortunately.. she met someone there who happened to be on meth as well. And for Jessica, that meant relapse came knocking. The relationship with that guy became toxic over time. She started using a lot.. and life got even more chaotic. She had kids at home with her mom, but she gradually started going to be with him for longer periods of time. Staying over for the night turned into a week, and then that turned into 2 weeks, and so on. Her dad always welcomed her home, whether she was on drugs or not, even as he was coping with his own stuff until the end, but her mom eventually drew a clear line: “If you’re high, don’t come around.”
It seemed like even after she broke up with that guy, every boyfriend she had or relationship she formed unraveled. Drug dealers, bad crowds, raids, arrests, all that. Jessica’s been in 3 high-speed pursuits, skipped bail, fled counties. She was a vagabond just floating around with acquaintances everywhere but no real connection.
A year and a half slipped by without Jessica seeing her family.. She was in one of the lowest seasons of her life.. feeling more hopeless than ever. But around that time, she ended up in Orange County and, through a mutual connection’s house, met a man named Dale. The two of them clicked right away and have been together ever since. As they grew close, they started using together, and over time, her veins collapsed from all the hits, and in her desperation, she even shared his needles.. something she now looks back on, with gratitude for God’s protection through it all, as a dangerous low she wishes she’d avoided.
Without anymore veins to shoot, Jessica slowly got off the meth.. but with no money and no place to go, she and Dale were still feeling helpless. One night, while standing outside an AA meeting, Dale’s friend mentioned Occupy OC.. a place where they could set up tents, get food, and the best part was that the police actually let them sleep there. And so that’s where they stayed.
Meanwhile, all the things from her past started catching up a bit, and Jessica would end up getting picked up for a warrant, and part of the release agreement was having to do a program within 90 days. So she went back to the tents ready to start looking for a program, but her health took a big dip. She got extremely sick with pneumonia.. so much so that Dale didn’t know what to do. He ended up calling her brother (a nurse) who came and took her to ER. There at the hospital, she learned that she had whole body sepsis, a life-threatening reaction to an infection that causes your immune system to harm healthy tissues and organs.
It was a serious issue that forced her to stay at the hospital for an extended time. While getting treatment for that, she also learned that she had damaged heart valves, and she would need to be extremely careful if she wanted to stay alive. When she finally got out, she went back to her mom’s, and that’s when she heard about the Salvation Army Bell Shelter, which she got into.
From the moment she got there, she felt like she was where she needed to be. She began receiving therapy, getting connected to necessary resources, and in her words, “thriving.” After about three months, Dale (being a veteran) was able to join the program too and begin getting connected also. Being at the shelter is how Dale first got connected to us here at KCB. At the time, we were running a Fatherhood program, and if the guys went, it could lead to jobs through GSI. Dale did it, got connected, and the Barnette family helped him get connected and into VASH housing. Since Jessica was in his household, they were able to move in together to a place close to KCB. Dale started coming around here a lot, making friends with Jason and Gene.. really plugging in. Jessica watched from the sidelines at first, still feeling some isolation. All her old people were scattered.. she was on mental health meds.. and she almost envied Dale’s connections because she still felt like she didn’t belong anywhere.
Life was beginning to stabilize, but her body still carried the scars of those hard years. Early 2016 hit.. and her heart issues flared up.. and she found out that she would need life saving open-heart surgery. It was major, scary surgery. But it was a success, and in that recovery time, something shifted. Up until that point, Jessica had been agnostic.. just unsure about God.. but after going through with that scary but successful surgery and getting into recovery, she sensed something bigger pursuing her. It reminded me of 1 Peter 5:10.. where Scripture promises that after we've suffered a little while, "the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." For Jessica, that suffering was years of chaos, addiction, sickness, and now near-death medical issues, which ended up giving way to exactly that: restoration.. a new strength, and a new way of looking at life. Something that cracked the door open for deeper questions like “What am I gonna do with myself now?”
She was unsure of a lot, but knew she wanted to get involved. She found out about volunteer opportunities and signed up, and that’s when things started opening up. Stephanie (our former LCSW intern who became such a big part of the fabric here) encouraged her. She started going to support groups, meeting people, and making actual friends.. especially a very special one named Ellen.
Ellen had already been volunteering with KCB and knew all the cool ways to get involved. What she didn’t know was how deep the relationship with Jessica would eventually get. The two of them were both looking for real connection, and from the very beginning, they just clicked. They became so close that these days they’re like a package deal! Ellen would grow to be one of Jessica’s biggest supporters and encouragers. And she still is. Ellen encouraged Jessica to tell her story.. to speak up even when it felt uncomfortable.. to value herself. So when I asked Jessica about her story, she couldn’t imagine telling it without Ellen getting her flowers too.. after all, it was Ellen who helped her take that leap.
Ellen and Jessica at Bingo!
When COVID hit, Ellen was basically bedridden for a year.. and like Ellen had been there for Jessica, Jessica was there for her. She’d be with her every day and become her support system. To this day, Ellen still gives her rides, picks her up, and makes sure she’s safe.. even through her own medical stuff going on. “This friendship has been amazing, Ellen. An unexpected friendship but so needed. Without her encouragement, I don’t know what I would do or where I would be.”
Jessica and Ellen at Disneyland!
When our Executive Director Andrew began leading the Lived Experience Advisory Board (LEAB), it hit Jessica even more. KCB was wanting input from people with lived experience to give advice, tell their stories, and help strengthen the community we serve. The LEAB team is taken to outreach and churches and opportunities to share. That was huge for her. “Wow.. somebody’s interested in our stories and we add value to KCB?!” It went from feeling like she had no purpose.. from feeling like she would have no idea what her obituary would say if she died tomorrow.. to having a real confidence that she could connect with people because she gets it.
So Jessica began volunteering here at the KCB Community Center, and the rest is history. This place became her refuge. A safe space where she feels connected. Now, I’m in no hesitation to say she’s our lead volunteer. She connects with neighbors through compassion and her own experience.. and while she never lets anyone walk over her, she shows that she cares deeply.
Jessica, volunteering at the Community Center!
From my view.. she’s one of the best, most consistent volunteers I’ve ever led. A quick learner, someone who not only takes notes but applies what she learns, doesn’t make the same mistake twice. She’s down-to-earth, communicative, and more importantly, someone I can trust with everything here. We joke around, and she’s become family to me to the point that I’d be devastated if she couldn’t continue. I’m extremely grateful for her heart and willingness to serve others and would hire her immediately if given the opportunity!
After all the chaos and hurt from her past, things look a lot different now. Her family let her back in to their lives, her son lives with her, and she’s able to be a present grandma every day. In her words, volunteering at KCB “fills the void” and “fills her soul.”
“I feel like a whole person. I’m connected.”
Stories like Jessica's show us that true belonging isn't something we earn.. it’s a gift we're given.. and it often comes through the very broken places we once tried to hide. The person answering our phones now was once the person longing for someone to answer her call.. yet here she is.. extending that same listening ear and reminder of grace to others.
Thank you Jessica, you’re a blessing! You’re family!.. and proof that God’s grace pursues us through the darkest valleys and brings us into belonging we never thought possible.. Thank you for shining that light so brightly here at KCB. Keep going!
We love you. KCB wouldn’t be the same without you.
Thanks for reading..
Until next time.