Fellows Update: Lindsay

Spring is here! And so are my allergies. I never experienced allergies in Michigan, but they make their presence very known with heavy sleeps, fuzzy brain, and the sniffles- cute and not so cute. But really, this is the extent of my complaints! God has been and is so good- I'm excited to write this letter to share His work in my life, in this program, and to connect for you my current context to my future plans (God willing). 

I'll start with my next steps. I'm headed to graduate school in Michigan at University of Michigan to begin my Masters of Social Work starting this coming Fall. Momentum starts to build in July, however. This reason combined with a family reunion at the end of June and some family plans in mid-June makes leaving on June 1 the most pragmatic departure date. These next steps bring with them waves of emotions including but not limited to excitement, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and happiness. The last five years of my life have been transient largely by choice, but I am becoming weary of the moving. In full candor, I thought this is where I would stay for a long while. I invest wherever I am, but this location carried a larger weight and a deeper pursuit in growing my roots. My heart hurts when I think about leaving my coworkers, my clients, my lovely roommate, the KCB community, my hospitable church, and the friends and family I have here that have embraced me beyond what I could have asked. Before I move on, I just want to say a deep, heartfelt THANK YOU. 

Next, an update on our neighborhood relationships. There are 2 relationships on our property that I embrace and that God has led us in. I'm investing and solidifying the ones already created while leaving room for new ones to be built and for prayer to make them possible. One way you could pray for us is to give us the words and the action to have more meaningful conversations with our friends on our property. 

Secondly, I've been involved with the Eucalyptus street neighborhood outreach. This is the most exciting part of the community development for me right now. I see the fruit of long-term relationships that have developed over time and patience and love for the youth on that street. I see the power of God's hand in their lives and our lives especially when the lives are lived side by side. My part in this outreach is limited due to timing, but I'm so grateful to have a picture and sense of where prayer is needed, so that I may pray while I'm away. I ask for prayers for our Wednesday nights when we are with the young adults, that hearts are opened and trust is built, that the Holy Spirit moves and breathes in our interactions. 

Our Church is a bit of a different picture right now.  In my heart and life, this issue hits close to home. Deep in the heart. My mother attended Calvin Theological Seminary and my younger sister is now accepted at Western Theological Seminary for this fall for her Masters of Divinity. Clearly this topic won't go away in my life, but my own personal conclusions didn't move me to discuss this issue anymore since I knew where I stood (and still stand). So when I was placed at this church and was informed this was their view, I put up walls. I came in hostile. I was thinking there was a huge mistake made. Like this was one big joke and KCB would jump out from behind a complementarian wall shouting GOTCHA!!! and then every idea I held dear would come together in a Utopian church community. But more realistically and spiritually, I was fearful God was going to teach me, stretch me, and humble me there, all of which terrified me to no end. Because when God moves, I can't deny it or look away.

My church is more and more like home. I'm ever grateful for the hospitality they show and the friendships I've built with my fellow members. I deeply care about the church and how it's doing, so the most recent discussion on women in office is something for which I'm requesting prayer. The topic is now on the table and being discussed in the church. I am learning more and more about myself, the church structure, the church body, how people disagree, how people (myself 100% included) find comfort in arguments based off of interpretations, and how pride is a primary driving force in many of these divisive arguments. My pride included.

Here is my request: please pray that we disagree well. That we seek to listen and understand before we build walls, accuse, judge, and get hot-headed. That we look inside the church at all the different lenses we bring to our discussions, our logic, our arguments, and our fears. And ultimately, I ask for prayer that we ALL submit to the Holy Spirit in the decisions being made. 

Thank you for reading!

I want to end this letter with proclamations of love: I love Bellflower. I love Kingdom Causes. I love BellOne. I love InJOY Rosecrans. I love my communities here. And ultimately, I love Jesus. 
Malachi 4:2 (I'm soaking up this verse right now. I just love the analogy.)